Surrounded by maps and monitors, Marshbaum was directing the search for Osama bin Laden.

    As the only journalist allowed into the super-secret War Room, located 250 yards north of the intersection of routes 45 and 518, just inside Coal Breaker Mountain in Molly Twp., it was my responsibility to observe and report every factoid to the public. I might win a Pulitzer if I did my job well. If not, I would get several offers to be a TV news anchor.

    "How will you finish him off?" I asked. "Assassins with unregistered Glocks? Barrage of Smart Bombs? ICBM to tear open his assets?"

    "We want him alive," said Marshbaum as cold as his target's eyes.

    "Even better! You'll hang him from chains to reveal the secrets of the terrorist network." Marshbaum didn't say anything, so I tried another possibility. "Put him on the stretching rack? Make him watch a month of 'Days of Our Lives'?"

    "We're taking him before Congress."

    "Brilliant! Someone as evil as bin Laden deserves to face the bickering, petty manipulation, and political vindictiveness that only Congress is capable of. Bin Laden will beg to be boiled in oil as a humane alternative."

    "And we'll give him the Congressional Medal of Freedom."

    "And you'll slowly choke him with its chain," I said admiringly.

    "We'll put him up at a 5-star hotel, provide for all of his wants, maybe take him to Disney World for a week or so.

    "You're serious!" I said. "You're going to honor the man who financed the terrorists who killed almost 5,000?!"

    "Because of the terrorists, we've come together as a nation. Everyone's waving an American flag or wearing "God Bless America" and "United We Stand" T-shirts, sweatshirts, and baseball caps."

    "The flags are made in China," I said, "and most of the clothing is made by child laborers in a dozen Third World countries."

    "International cooperation!" said a delighted Marshbaum, "We're just one big happy family thanks to Osama. Even the Democrats and Republicans are holding hands and singing 'Kumbaya' together. Bush has a 90 percent approval rating."

    "It's smoke and mirrors," I said. "He knows it, we know it. It'll disappear faster than Kuwait's loyalty when we wipe out the Taliban, and New Yorkers return to giving the finger to each other."

    "President Dubya has learned a lot from history. That's why he has his Daddy's cabinet in place. During the Gulf War, his daddy's rating was higher than a college freshman at a keg party. Afterwards, the economy tanked and Clinton became president. That won't happen to Dubya."

    "And why not?" I asked, handing my ersatz foil yet another straight line.

    "Because, Ink Breath, the economy is even better thanks to bin Laden. Before 9-11, the airlines were stalling. Oil companies were in trouble. Even the defense conglomerates were in a funk because we didn't have any enemies. Now, with a $15 billion bailout, the airlines and their $5 million a year CEOs are flying high, they're using even more jet fuel from oil companies formerly run by the President and Vice-President, and Defense industries can't churn out war materiel fast enough."

    "We're still in a recession!" I declared. "It officially began two months after the President was inaugurated. The airline CEOs laid off 40,000 workers, and none of them get anything from the bail-out."

    "More airport security," said Marshbaum. "Thousands of new jobs."

    "Thousands that the Republican leadership tried to scuttle because they were afraid they'd become union members."

    "Job's a job," said Marshbaum. "Besides, it benefits the media as well. Publishers are profiting from pushing stories and photos of the Twin Towers and every patriotic theme they can think of. Newspapers are printing full color pages of flags, layered with a thick coat of advertising on the back. Haven't you heard it's patriotic to buy things?"

    "Things we can't afford that will go into yard sales next year."

    "The business of America is business," said Marshbaum, quoting Calvin Coolidge. "Besides, if we keep this war going, people will stay united behind the President, give him anything he wants, and forget about the economy." "You declared terrorism to be a war against America," I said, "then used it to stop public tours of the White House so only sycophants and Big Money could get in, rounded up thousands of Arabs and Arab-Americans and refused to release their names, and gave the President the power to oversee military tribunals where Constitutional rights are waived. You're not trying to find bin Laden, you're trying to locate him to keep others from finding him."

    "It's the price of freedom," said a smirking Marshbaum.

    "Does the President know about this?" I asked.

    "Probably not. We're working for a greater good."

    "There's a fine line between treason and politics," I declared.

    "Patriotism in the defense of liberty is no vice," Marshbaum retorted.

    "Besides, by identifying bin Laden as the mastermind behind the terrorism, we have put a face on evil."

    "The face of evil can be seen not only in Afghani caves," I said, "but in a mirror."

    "That may be true," said Marshbaum, "but as long as we keep Americans afraid of terrorism, we'll have jobs a few more years."

    "And what happens when the Marines do find bin Laden, and your clandestine network is exposed?"

    In almost a hypnotic state, Marshbaum kept repeating his mantra. "We directed the search for bin Laden. We are patriots. We keep our jobs."

    Copyright 2002 Walter M. Brasch