Murder in an Alaskan Forest
No one—at least no human—knows his name, or even if he had a name.
We don’t know where or when he was born. We know nothing about his life.
But we know a lot about his death. A politician/trapper from northeast Pennsylvania went to Alaska and killed him. We know this because the local newspaper opened almost a full page to tell us about the glorious hunt.
APRIL 2008
Murder in Alaska>>
The Surrogate Votergate
“Vote for Marshbaum! Get your vote recorded early!”
On Main Street, shouting and scaring away dogs, Marshbaum was campaigning furiously, stopping almost every carbon form within 30 feet of him. In one hand was a sign, “Change With Obama.” In his other hand was “3 a.m. Hillary.”
“You are running for President?” I asked somewhat skeptically.
“Didn’t you read the signs?” asked an incredulous Marshbaum, upset that even a journalist could miss props that large. “I’m accepting votes for Obama or Hillary.”
MARCH 2008
Votergate>>
The Flocked-Up Campaign Press Gaggle
Shortly before the primary votes this past week, Newsweek called Barack Obama’s surge to the Democratic nomination “inevitable.” It also called for Hillary Clinton to “start campaign for Sen. majority leader.” Newsweek was one of only dozens of national media that made that “analysis.” But the voters had their own ideas.
MARCH 2008
Presidental Campaign>>
Flying a Chinese-MadeAmerican Flag to
Stimulate the Economy
With almost no opposition, Congress had agreed to the President’s massive rebate program. Violating almost every principle of conservative politics, except the one for self-preservation of their jobs, the Republicans willingly tossed around money in a naive belief it would slow down the recession. The plan was to mint almost $120 billion for the people, mostly to make them think they should be grateful to Big Government for its concern for the “Little Guy,” even ones making up to $250,000 a year. That $600 individual rebate was also a lame disguise to make the people overlook the $50 billion that was being distributed in the form of tax rebates for American business, a Republican pet project. Only at the last minute—and only because the Democrats demanded it and agreed not to fight the Republicans who refused to allow heating assistance for the impoverished and extra money for the unemployed—did the final proposal include $300 for each of the 250,000 disabled veterans, and $600 for each of 20 million senior citizens who didn’t qualify.
FEBRUARY 2008
Economy>>
Spouting Change to
Stay the Same
All of the presidential candidates are spouting “CHANGE” as their “catch-word of the day.” Change the health care system. Change the economy. Change the corporate hold on middle-class Americans. The only thing they’re not relying upon to get votes is spare change. A multi-million dollar campaign needs corporate investment—the kind the candidates say they oppose, but most are taking, nevertheless.
JANUARY 2007
Primary Promises>>
The Disconnected Media
Add pundits, pollsters, and the press to the list of losers in the New Hampshire primary.
They weren’t on the ballot. They didn’t vote. And they didn’t get it right.
For the Democrats, Sen. Barack Obama, fresh from victory in Iowa, was supposed to cruise into a double digit win in the Granite State. Sen. Hillary Clinton, at least if anyone believed the media, was going to be flattened by the Obama steamroller that was chugging to dominate all primaries.
JANUARY 2007
Media>>
Oops! The Media Did It Again
Ever vigilant, the mass media dug into a critical social issue and rooted out the information in their never-ending quest to guarantee the people’s right to know.
The people’s right to know, they determined, was that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, star of Nickelodeon’s “Zoey 101,” is pregnant. Jamie Lynn is the younger sister of Britney Spears, the former Mouseketeer who has combined a chart-topping career as a singer/dancer with being America’s Celebrity Super-Skank.
DECEMBER 2007
Spears>>
George W. Bush’s
‘Convenient’ Truth
President George W. Bush hosted former Vice-President Al Gore, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, and five other Nobel laureates, Nov. 26. This annual handshake photo-op has been an American tradition.
NOVEMBER 2007
Bush>>
Why Bush Should Have Signed
the Children’s Health Act
President George W. (“I-Demand-an-Up-or-Down-Vote”) Bush today [Oct. 3] vetoed the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), which expired this past week. The highly successful program to aid children was begun in 1997 under the Clinton presidency.
The bipartisan legislation bill to increase funding and continue SCHIP was passed overwhelmingly by the House (265–159) and Senate (67–29). It would have increased health insurance for about two to four million children. Bush vetoed the bill behind closed doors and with no media present. About 6.5 million children are currently covered by state and federal programs. More than 43 million people are not covered by health insurance, with about six million under the age of 18.
OCTOBER 2007
health act>>
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